


Every Little Thing

by bluestbluetoeverblue



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Fluff, I Love You, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-15
Updated: 2015-01-15
Packaged: 2018-03-07 17:43:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 841
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3177796
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bluestbluetoeverblue/pseuds/bluestbluetoeverblue
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Dean comes to a startling realization.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Every Little Thing

Dean Winchester didn’t grow up in a loving environment. He remembers his mother, or at least parts of her. Warm hugs when he came in from playing in the snow. Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. A voice singing him to sleep. He remembers his mother’s love, but that doesn’t really count. John loved him. There is no question about that. He just didn’t show it, often treating Dean more like a soldier than a son. Bobby loved him. In fact, Bobby’s probably the only reason Dean understood what love was supposed to look like. And everyone knows how much Sam loves him. Still, Dean has never been good at love. Recognizing it, accepting it, reciprocating it. He doesn’t realize that he loves a lot of people quite fiercely, so he has fallen into that dangerous overly masculine male stereotype which fits him all too well.

He loves his family. Those mentioned, and those not. Ellen, Jo, Kevin, Charlie, he loves them all. And he loved Cassie. Dean’s pretty sure she was the first person he ever truly felt that way for. And then there were Lisa and Ben. He loved them more than almost anyone. They almost got him out, but then they were gone. So, love is a tricky subject in Dean’s mind. A strange subject. He never expected to feel it strongly again and wasn’t sure he even wanted to until he did.

It was a Thursday. They had just finished a case, the three of them, and were lounging around the bunker taking a much deserved day off. Sam was in the kitchen making popcorn while Dean and Castiel sat in their living room of sorts flipping through channel after channel on the tv. Well, Dean was flipping through channel after channel while Cas actually sat reading. He was perched on an old armchair, head tilted down as those shocking blue eyes scanned the pages. It was a joke book. One of those terrible old thirty-five page things you find for a quarter at a thrift store, filled with things like “Why did the gum cross the road?” (because it was stuck to the chicken’s foot) and “Why did the vampire go to the doctor?” (because he was coffin). They’d found it tucked into a trunk in an old closet, and now Cas was trying to read it. By the look on the angel’s face, he wasn’t understanding most of the jokes.

Sam came in somehow carrying two bowls of popcorn, a bag of peanut M&Ms, and some beers. He sat down, unloading the supplies on the coffee table, just as Cas spoke.

“Two fish swam into a concrete wall,” he said carefully in his gravelly voice, “And one said to the other, ‘Dam!’” He looked up at Sam and Dean. “I don’t understand. How is this considered comical?”

Closing his eyes, Dean shook his head. Sam chuckled.

“Well,” Sam said, “it’s a pun...and dam is...well…”

Dean watched his brother try to explain to Cas how the ridiculous joke was supposed to be funny, which was entertaining in itself. Sam kept laughing as Cas’ brow furrowed more and more and his squint grew more confused. Sam tried to explain the point of puns, and Cas declared that no such thing was ever intended in the Divine Order of Human Advancements. Dean couldn’t help but laugh softly. Castiel was honestly adorable while trying to understand human things, even though he was becoming pretty human himself in the past few years. And they had been hard ones. Apocalypses, angel wars, mind reprogramming, Purgatory, it was all pretty insane. But through it all, there had been Castiel. Not always in his right mind and not always making the right decisions, but always there. And Dean wouldn’t have had it any other way.

It was in that moment that Dean realized it. The first time he thought those words, holy shit did it surprise him. He stopped paying attention to what else was happening in the room because there they were again, floating through his mind as easily as if they said “I’ll have an order of cherry pie” or “It’s my turn, and I pick ACDC”. Why did they come that easily? He didn’t know. All he knew was that he was thinking them and they were definitely true.

_I love Cas._

 I love Cas. I. Love. Cas. Dean loved his hair and the way he talked and his compassion and his cute little squint and how badass he was and...him. He loved him. Okay. Then there was just the idea of saying it, which scared him to death. The idea of just opening his mouth and uttering the words

“I love you.”

Sam looked over at him, startled and confused. But Dean wasn’t staring at him. His eyes were locked on Cas, who was turning pink. His eyes were wide and his lips curled slightly up. No one moved. Dean didn’t know what was going on until he realized...had he said that out loud?

Shit.

 


End file.
